


the space in between

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5712154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Afterwards, there was only silence, and Jongin could never be sure what to make of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the space in between

**Author's Note:**

> For Kaisoo Day 2016. M for hinted sex but nothing explicit in here.

Jongin wasn't sure how this started, he would say if anyone ever asked.

Even if no one ever would, and Jongin remembered everything.

It was a kiss, at first, as chaste as kisses go, laced with the taste of cheap soju. It was a kiss, secondly and just half a minute after, that was much less chaste and much more intoxication. Kyungoo's lips were soft and warm against his, and for a second Jongin felt self-conscious on his his was chapped and dry.

_Let's forget this_ , he had expected Kyungsoo to say.

_Go out with me_ , he had hoped Kyungsoo would.

But Kyungsoo remained silent, his hand steadily holding Jongin's.

And for a second, enveloped in Kyungsoo's warmth, Jongin felt self-conscious at how he trembled.

 

 

Kyungsoo had pushed him backstage, and their kisses, desperate, needy and something else altogether tasted entirely like what Jongin had learnt to simply be Kyungsoo. Jongin had forgotten when had Kyungsoo grown so strong and he had forgotten the exact amount of minutes, hours, days had passed since their first kiss to this one. He had forgotten, how many kisses had there been since.

His body knew to lean in without trying. He knew how to kiss the same way he knew how to dance – like every atom in his body was meant for this, but with his heart beating like it was his first time.

And when they parted, he expected Kyungsoo to say something.

_Let's forget this_ , he had expected, the words hanging over him in all those minutes, hours, days since their first kiss.

_Go out with me_ , he had continued to hope with every kiss that had come since. 

Again, Kyungsoo remained silent and took Jongin's hand in his. The fans cheering for them off stage made Jongin tremble, a little.

But for now, he belonged here.

For this minute, for this second. 

 

 

It was Kyungsoo who started this, Jongin thought. After all, the first two soju-laced kisses, the chaste one and the less-chaste one, were both Kyungsoo's. After all, every kiss that came after was Kyungsoo's.

It was Kyungsoo who first pushed him on to his bed, shaking him up from his stage fatigue and making himself so very self-conscious with how dirty and sweaty he was. It was Kyungsoo who kissed him then, and Kyungsoo who fucked him then.

Asking him all throughout if this was okay. (Yes it was.)

If it hurts. (A little, but he didn't mind.)

If this was okay. (It was, it was, oh god, it was.)

So it should be Kyungsoo who said something, Jongin reasoned with the invisible audience of his mind booing him for his own silence.

His own silence to match Kyungsoo's after.

No _let's forget this_ , though Jongin still expected it.

No _go out with me_ , though Jongin still hoped for it.

Just an almost-silence, with their breathing filling up the space of this room and with Kyungsoo holding him in his arms.

And again, Jongin was self-conscious with how he trembled at the kisses that came after.

And self-conscious at how his breathing didn't match Kyungsoo's. 

 

 

He wasn't sure how long this would go one for.

Not the kisses, not the fucks. 

Although most of all he was anxious with how long they could be together the way they were, in their silence, in their mundane conversations about nothing and everything.

In their kisses, that tasted entirely like Kyungsoo.

And the hand on his after, which enveloped him whole.

 

 

This was love, maybe.

Although he could never be sure.

This was all love was, maybe.

Althought he wanted to believe in that much.

And although he waited.

For a _let's forget this_.

And although he waited.

For a _go out with me_.

Because he was afraid after all, and he was in love, he believed. 

 

 

When Kyungsoo kissed him, on the day between their birthdays, Jongin expected Kyungsoo to say nothing. 

(Even if, _let's forget this_ hung over him, and _go out with me_ held his heart.)

Kyungsoo tasted like Kyungsoo, even if he hadn't been around the last couple of days. Even if they hadn't been side by side, breathing unevenly and talking about nothing and everything.

And Jongin still kissed like he danced, like this was everything he was made for, like this was his first time.

Kyungsoo held his hand in his and then, there was silence.

And then, there were words.

“Let's remember this forever.”

Jongin wasn't sure who said it first.


End file.
